Well Hello Past

Out of no where I starting listening to Daphne Loves Derby again. I have been listening to their station on Pandora and you know what that has done? It has made me think about highschool.

ALL of a sudden floods of memories wonderful memories swormed through my mind. No one but me and my past knows the things I captured in my little mind of mine. It kinda reminds me of "Elizabeth Town" when the girl takes a fake snapshot of the moment she is in like she is going to make a scrap book or something. It seems like I've done that through the years, and for some reason Music has always played a part in the memories that are reocurring.

I look at the past, and see who I was.... and look at myself now and all I can say is WOW. So much change, adventure, craziness has happened since then. I look back at a girl that was just trying to figure herself out, taken by the friendships, loving life.... And look at a woman that is building friendships, going in all directions, and growing up. But its always fun to look at the past. Daphne loves derby was one of my first bands that I actually loved. First concert to go to without riding with my parents, out of town, and with friends. NOW race the sun was the first concert I ever went to but that was only in abilene. Daphne Loves Derby was a new leaf for me. It was like I had my first step in independence. I loved it. The friendships that I began to develope, the adventures I took from then on out would change my world forever.

Yes I miss highschool.... I said it... I miss the simplicity of a highschoolers life.... I miss the friends I once had... I miss the music.... BUT I love where I am at.

The past will not take you anywhere but hold you back. Look at the present live your life to your fullest, and push for the future. Soon I will be having children and they will get to experience the life I had. All I can say is I am excited for what is to come and what the Lord has in store for this season of my life. Yes I miss things, but I love this life I have now. We always search for someone or something to suffice for our happiness... And I don't have to. I have my other half. :) I have the Lord. And I am happy.

I hope you all have a blessed day. Enjoy the sun/ or the rain/ and experience life. Because 5 years will blow by before you know it and you will be thinking about the past and reminiscing. SOOOOO tahtahfornow! :)

Halt

HALT WHO GOES THERE?!

Anytime I think about the word halt, I think about a policeman stopping you, or a guard in the medieval times when you are comingup to the gate to talk to a king, OR EVEN red light green light. You know the game.

All in all its a stopping point, sometimes you can't control it, it just happens.

Over the past couple months since I've been married I have been looking for jobs. NOW have I really been looking for jobs?

Well I put it into high gear since July. Now I know thats not a long time to be looking for jobs. BUT for me it has.

And in the midst of applying and applying and applying and applying I have still yet have found a job. I have applied soooooooooo many places and it just seems I am TO qualifed or do not have enough experience.

DISCOURAGING MUCH? but after talking to a friend and some people at church they put it into perspective. Maybe God doesn't want me to work and get paid maybe He wants me to do volunteer work. Or maybe I am suppose to be a wife. I never got to spend time with matt before we got married, maybe God is giving me an opportunity to get to know Matt better? Who knows

ALL I KNOW is that my life is at a halt at the moment. And though many people might like sitting idle relaxing, watching tv, working out. I DO NOT. well I do but i like people. I like hearing from people. Seeing people. Listening to people. I NEED PEOPLE. lol so until I get to see people I am just going to see where God takes me. Apply for more jobs, get turned down or not even hear back, and keep pressing forward. In the mean time I will do what a wife is to do even though my husband will not be here, and get invovled with church and organizations that need my help :)

To make Gods kindom a little brighter, a little more funny, a little more random.... that is what I am here to do :)

Adventure I am waiting ;)

ok that is all yall have a great day! (ps. people make fun of me for saying yall but I get more joy in hearing people from the north begin to say yall even more!) hehehe

Divorce....

Divorce is such a scary scary thing....

It's never easy on either parties, on children, on anyone that is involved...

It effects you mentally, physically, emotionally, and even spiritually if you even do believe in God or not.

Someone once told me that when you get a divorce, and you break that sacred bond of marriage... you don't leave each other as one person you leave as a half of a person. Because the moment you said "I DO" you immediately became one... and you can never bring that back.

These days it is so easy to throw away a marriage... its just like buying a new car, you can do it in an instance. Which is sad to me. When did our society become sooo numb that no one cares for their marriages anymore... I mean even couples that have been together for 20 - 50 years HOW can you live a whole lifetime together and think the best solution is a divorce. Some may say " Oh I never loved you, or I don't love you anymore, or You don't satisfy me anymore." That's a load of CRAP. It's because you are lazy and you don't want to try to make it work.

You loved that person you had to or you wouldn't have said I DO. I DO is not a temporary statement. MY thoughts are Man or Woman up and be the husband or wife you are suppose to be... stop nagging each other... and look at what you fell in love with in the first place.... seriously

NOW if your spouse is abusing you... he could and most likely will abuse your children... you need to get out of the environment and have him seek help or the issue will progress

If your spouse has been unfaithful and is continuing in that FIRST kill the other THING *ok don't actually kill them* And then win them back. THERE is a reason that happened, and they need to know that you will be with them if you really do want the marriage to work you have to let it go. NOW will you forget it no... are we called to forgive yes.... will it be hard? most definitely.... can it be fixed yes. I have learned when the opportunity arrises you can't do it alone you need the strength of God to get you through that. I know that for a fact. But it can work out.

Lately i have been hearing about couples being in a funk one is dealing with a VERY heated situation, one is just dealing with blahness, one is dealing with confusion, and I am afraid that if I place myself in a place where I am surrounded by that... that funk might weasel its way in to my marriage(kinda did for a second) BUT i swatted it away.. STUPID FUNK leave everyone alone. It's suppose to be summer time not lets screw up everyones life time.

I am afraid for my friend... I am afraid of what is to come of the situation... I can't imagine what is going through their mind right now... all I can do is pray so pray I shall. If you do pray please pray for my friend they really need it right now especially for today and this weekend...


on a different note ... the army is lame and needs to STOP taking my husband away for weeks at a time... k thanks! lol

Sorry for such a blah post but I needed to get this off my chest at how PISSED OFF I AM at certain people for being so flippin retarded ! well you guys have a blessed day!

Can I Just Vent For A Second?

....


First of all I am missing my mobilian friends, as well as, my friends from texas alot...


Secondly I have realized that its true people change once you leave college, and it is harder to stay in contact with people once you leave a place... what I don't get is if you have a face book or any social networking device why won't you use it to keep in touch with people you care about... or maybe thats the point... the reason why you dont keep in touch is because in all actuality you don't care. At all to be exact.

Since I have been married I have been able to think back the past year even the past couple months, and ask myself where did all my friends run off too? It's not I who has jumped off the face of the earth its them. and though I have tried to connect it doesn't matter.

Maybe I am selfish... or maybe I am hurt and disappointed. When i see weddings and pictures of weddings that I wish I could be at I look and see friends that I invited thinking they would be there, and nothing... not even a sorry I couldn't have been there or even a congrats.

I took money and time and effort to invite you ... have some decency seriously... how hard is it to say I WON'T be there so I can i wouldn't have had hopes of seeing you guys. For those who came I appreciated it more than you will ever know... it means the world to me that you came. For those who told me before and after that you couldn't go thank you I appreciate the fact that you told me. It means the world to me that you would show that you care. But for those who didn't respond and gave me your addresses ... I know where you stand. so thanks.


sorry enough of that, just was hurt thats all :/ hope yall have a good night

As of RIGHT now

People have been asking me what married life is like lately OH BTW i am married for anyone that was wondering if that would ever happen or not... WELL it did :) and lets just say its been an adventure since then. Since I said "I do" this is what Ive done.

I have been CLEAN yep thats right I have been clean crazy huh? I guess I have a new appreciation to a clean humble abode. It gives a sense of self respect having a clean home.

I have been cooking more. YES and it has turned out to be really yummy. I have enjoyed cooking... kinda gives me a sense of relaxation.... though I am not confident yet but I have enjoyed it ... matt likes it too

I have taken care of financial things... and I have been a Hoss at it :) no one wants to mess with me

I have shot a gun! which was soooo much fun! and scary! I like the cowboy rifle ... I think i may get one sometime soon :)

I have made this apartment a home... now now I need more things but i love my apartment... its very quaint and cozy.

I have found a nice church to go to.. I like mars hill alot Mark driscoll is the pastor and he is very good at what he does.

I have made plans to mark things off my bucketlist!! Hot air balloon... skydiving... yep thats what I am going too and I CANT WAIT.

All in all married life has been fun... and sometimes lonely mainly cause matt goes to work all day and I am at home most of the time... Yeah yeah you will probably tell me to get a job... OK LET ME GET RIGHT ON THAT :P I have been looking for a job... now I may not have been trying EXTREMELY hard but I have put effort towards it. I know I can't be picky but I still want to enjoy what i do.

If I could work anywhere I would work at a record label. I wouldnt mind starting at the bottom... stuffing envelopes or something... just to be in a place that focuses on what I love the most would be such a neat experience. But what do I have to offer? I don't know .

I have realized I need to get better at selling myself... sheesh i have been in such a funk that I have lost a bit of self confidence... no one likes a blah person .... people want to see life, enthusiasm, creativeness, and a new way of thinking. this funk i have been in needs to seriously go away... its like my scribbles have turned into straight lines and are about to burst at the seams.... WELL that is all i can think about right now....

I have also realized I NEED PEOPLE... this apartment stuff is getting old.... you can only get so excited cleaning and cooking for so long until it gets old..... unfortunately I know maybe 3 people here.... one has a baby, the other one has a new baby and a 2 year old girl and one lives about 45 mins away... ughhhhh so far.... I MISS THE COLLEGE ASPECT OF PEOPLE. its dull and kinda zaps me of energy.... but that will all change soon enough :) hopefully :( anyways that is all for today you guys have a good one :)

You Know....

I don't update this alot. I know I know that saddens you right? I know at times I can fill your void of randomness. Well here is the random thought of the day.

Jesus Is My Friend.

I have a friend name Jesus.


Yes Kiddos that is right Jesus is my friend by sonseed has tainted my thoughts since last night. As I was saying goodnight last night the last thought that came to mind was that stupid stupid song lol now I know you might not know this song so I will grace you with it's presence




Now we will see if this sucker works... now if it doesn't your goal is to type it into youtube and you yourself will experience the wonderful style, lyrics, and funk Sonseed has to offer.

You know what speaking of awful Christian music. for the past couple years I have asked myself why does alot of it suck? now don't get angry at me I am just saying what you are afraid to say. The fact that secular music can surpass the talent, lyrical ability, and strength of the music that is out there these days saddens me. I think sense we HAVE the ability to go deep, we HAVE the ability to stretch over the horizon, and we HAVE the ability to get a bigger audience should spark Christians into saying HEY we can do that, we can do better than that. But instead we are stuck in the same chord progressions, lack of depth lyrics, and are afraid to stretch. Now there is the exception of a few artist that I have come across over the past 2 years that I believe changed my thoughts on the dislike for Christian music. But as a whole we are stuck which saddens me. Now I know that i don't have the ability to write deep songs, or experiment with my music but that is just cause i don't practice lol also I have been in a writers block for more than a year. BUT like I was saying this is my thoughts on the matter. Go above and beyond musicians, I'll back you if you have depth, if not you are just another statistic in the same ol routine. Also I know you have to appeal to the audience, and alot of the audience doesn't have the mind capacity to handle deeper music, but they will deal and they can learn A NEW SONG. For those of us who love music love finding the new sound, and have such a broad spectrum for music... we want more. Challenge us some please. I am tired of standing in luke warm gross water, I want to be pushed over by a raging wave. COME HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT. lol sorry i was listening to oldies today :) Yesterday was a Nickel Creek kind of day, I think today will consist of Kansas, and Crosby Stills& Nash, and maybe some Yes... YES I OWN YES :) ok that is all have a good day!

Ouch :(

This is what i am feeling right now! Right where it says pain. Maybe I have pushed myself too hard with all this working out that my back is saying NO MORE. OR MAYBE its because of the stupid class I did last night. DING DING DING there we go that is it! Cardio fusion.... the workout class from Hell (excuse my language). It consists of weights, a stupid step, and a band, sometimes even a barbell(which we used last night). It is a fast pace workout that wants you to BURN THOSE CALORIES fast. Mind over body as the lady said last night. I personally don't think she knows what she is doing. MAINLY because she never stretches us before we begin to work out. Its a mixture of squats, pushups, jumping, lunges, arm workouts, and running all at once. What made me pull something in my back last night was when we used the barbell with weights and did squats on the step. not only did we do that we did jumping squat with the barbell on the step. switching from routine to routine. Now why did i do this class? Let me tell you I didnt want to do it but because I already paid $5 to get in to the workout center, I wasn't going to waste my money on nothing. What I orginally was PLANNING on doing was piyo, which is pilates and yoga combined. But because my instructor was sick and I paid before I realized it I decided to workout. Now I got a good workout dont get me wrong. I worked out for 45 mins, but now I probably did more damage than good. What is hurting? is my lower back when I stand and i sit. What am I doing to help it? well I took ibeprofen and i have a heating pad on it and i am at stupid work lol. How long might it take to get better? I don't know I read between a couple days to a couple weeks :( lets hope for days. What would I like to be doing right now? sleeping sleeping sleeping or tanning lol. What will I hate? If I can't work out for the next couple weeks. I hear yoga is good for the back, so that is a plus. AND ANYONE THAT SAYS yoga isn't a workout is wrong. Did you know you can loose 400-500 calories in one 30 min session. Not only does it build lean muscles but it also burns calories, gives you better posture, and allows you to fully stretch your body to its full potential. Its relaxing, has resistance, and makes you feel refreshed doing it. OK ok OK enough about me whinning about my back, what is going on in my life is wedding, workingout, tanning and working. That is what my days consist of I also go to church on sundays and a bible study at 6:15am on thursdays(which is AMAZING). I officially have 1 month and 11 days til I am Mrs. Callie Ann Woodley :) i am so excited, and ready for it to get here. It sucks waiting but its good. we are getting things finalized and I am excited. well anyways I better get back to work yall have a good one. and I will be in pain :(

I Miss You.

I miss alot of things actually. As I was stuffing envelopes today I had plenty of time to think about things... 6 hours worth of thinking, gluing, stuffing, and sticking. That's what my day consisted of stuffing envelopes relentlously... ugh. But as I was stuffing envelopes my mind started racing. Making me realize things that I have missed which I have decided to list:

1.) I miss singing. Yeah I sing in the car, occassionally in the shower, and even sometimes for people. But since I have been back from Greece, and even in Greece I haven't really sang. Ok I sang before Christmas, but really I miss singing. Hearing voices sing with you, or even over you. I love to harmonize, and sadly I don't know when the next chance I will have to sing. I miss it.

2.) I miss actually playing music. For sometime I have been in a writers block, or I have just not had the desire to play my guitar or even write a song. I miss it. I wish I had inspiration right now, like I did back in highschool, or even the little i did while in college. People have told me well why don't you write a song about matt. I'm sorry I just can't be force to write a song, when it happens it happens. But I miss it, and if I played more I might actually be decent. I guess I just hate the fact that I just play chords. I have a hard time plucking or even experiementing. Yes I have an ear for music but that is about it. I wish it just came naturally... all in all i miss it.

3.) I miss painting, coming up with a picture in my mind and expressing it on the canvas. ANOTHER THING i lack in talent in a way. Unfortunately with painting you have to be somewhat decent at drawing. Unfortunately I am not. I wish I was. but I am not. I miss getting lost in the music and just painting what comes to mind, kinda like a song. Hopefully soon I will have something come to mind and paint it. I hope i hope i hope

4.) I miss friendships... with getting engaged it has caused me to change a little of who I am. Not in a bad way, but in a way to truly learn what it means to cleave. I have recently read that the word cleave means to be welded to, glued to, or just morphed to something. In a way I have to do that, but with that means to let go of a level on my friendships. For so long my friendships are what have kept me held together by the seams. They have been what has encouraged me, what has helped me through this rough life, and something I cherish. I hate letting go of friendships, and I don't but i have to put this marriage first. WHICH IS GOOD. But as this is becoming clearer, its hard. I miss precious people in my life. I miss being able to talk to them, express who i am, and hear their thoughts. I miss seeing a different perspective in life, and i just miss them in general. Some of my best friends in the whole wide world. As I was listening to my ipod songs came up and made me look back into the memories of some of you who are dearest to me. I will always think about you when I listen to certain things like The Classic Crime, Nickelcreek, Paper Route, Regina Spector, Noah and the Whale, Owl City, The Format, Journey, The Ready Set, Iron & Wine, Paramore, Mute Math, Laura Marling, John Mark McMillan, Mumford & Sons, Annuals, Acceptance, The Beatles, and so many more artist and songs that will trigger memories I spent with you. All in all I miss you thus why I am writing a miss you blog. But I know God has some awesome plans for our lives hopefully we can all share with each other at some point in time. Until then I guess missing you will have to suffice.

5.) I miss Greece. Alot at times. As I have been back for over a month I have realized what I had while I was there. I miss the people I worked with and worked for. I miss the ministry, seeing the bright little faces of the children, learning about a new culture. And just getting away from the main materialistic living we as Americans have it. I mean don't get me wrong I like comfort. But it was good to have been stretched to new heights and new limits. I have changed because of you Greece. Thank you for the experience you gave me.

6.) I miss matt, but that is a given lol only a couple of months and I will get to see him. It is crazy how things seem to feel so slow, but yet so fast at the same time. But I miss being in his pressence, being able to share moments with him, being about to learn new things, being able to understand a new structure of thinking. I miss him. But again that's a given. If I didn't something would be wrong.

7.) I miss being young, getting out of highschool, not knowing what I was going to do. Don't get me wrong I have loved what I have done thus far, and what I will be doing. BUT growing up is weird for me. And scares me in a way. What if I don't end up the way I was THOUGHT I was going to. But I miss the since of not really having to worry, and just getting on the brinks of life. YES i loved college at times, and no I would not like to go back to test. But it is just weird to look back and think wow this is where I am at now. Stuffing envelopes. (I just pray that is not what I have to do for the rest of my life, WHY? because life would be boring. I swear there is nothing you can do to make envelope stuffing entertaining or fun. AT ALL )

8.) I miss the sense of adventure. I miss the desire of going out and finding something new. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME? why am i so boring these days. SERIOUSLY. I want to go out find something new. But it is like Lazyness has taken over my body. THIS HAS to change ASAP or I might scream. I can't just go out and drive, I have to plan a wedding. UGH lol AND i have to work out. Maybe I will go for a run somewhere, or walk I just wish someone would come with me. OH WELL. but yes adventure you are missed .


ALL in all I truly miss lots of things.. I hope this missing won't stay. I hope i will see these things, see my friends, and embark on an adventure. I guess for now I will just have to deal with the missing and hope it soon goes away. SORRY FOR THE RANT. I am just venting my thoughts. If you don't like it then don't read. It's that simple :)

Have a blessed weekend

A Few Things On My Mind...

Since the beginning of the year I have been working out pretty much everyday. Which is a RARE occasion, mainly because I hate to sweat. But as I have done it the past few weeks I have realized I actually enjoy working out! :O shocked? I know. But I came to the realization that it helps me stay driven, and discipline. And then after thinking about it I went into a deeper state of mind of thinking, and determined that if I can be disciplined in that area of my life, why can't I be disciplined in others. It has motivated me to be disciplined in many areas of my life which makes me super happy.

I also thought about how weird it is growing up. Everyone says milk college for all its worth, because once you are out you are a grown up. Though it was scary at first I realized that unlike being scary, its more of a weird concept for me. I mean I never would have thought that I would be getting married now, done a mission trip, graduated college, and trying to find a job while budgeting. Its weird, and I don't know how I like it. Next thing I know I will be stuck in a job, having kids, and then getting OLD. Gross that is freaky for me. But yet its kinda exciting I guess. I mean as long as I have a job i LOVE, and my kids are awesome and cute, and as long as I don't get old in spirit and still want to go adventures then i will be fine. But I SWEAR if my life gets boring someone is going to pay. lol

And finally I hate, I mean I HATE people that call your cell phones and SCAM YOU. I hope you get seriously injured. ok ok maybe not that bad, but I still don't like you. So here is what happened. I recently got a present for Matt(I can't tell you what it is because he might read this), and for some reason this products service online gave all my information to one of their clients. After being called the past 3 or four days by a number i didn't know from florida and called at extremely lame times during the day I finally decided to call them back. THAT was dumb. Anyways me being nieve they told me my purchase, my name, the last 4 digits of my debit card, and they said they were calling to confirm my information and purchase. So they put me on hold until another person came on and persisted in asking me to repeat my card number to make sure that it was correct, give my birthdate, and say ok even though the other things they were going to send me i said i didn't want they made me feel pressured and i said ok. Not having a good feeling about it I told my dad, and my mom and then looked up the number. Found out that it was a scam, and i didn't know what to do. So inevitably I had to cancel my card, and now will have to file a report. AND if i get something in the mail I have to call and cancel whatever crap they sent me. UGHHH i hate you scammers yes I hate you! I know hate is a very VERY strong word but that is how i feel. ughhh super gay.

On a brighter note I am going to be stuffing envelopes for a realtor that DOES NOT work with my dad. MWUAHAHAH i shall be a spy, not really lol but at least it is a job, and she said i can work as much or as little as I want which is pretty cool. I guess my internship skills will come in handy. I will also be working with my dad as a possible receptionist for his office so that is also cool. I guess saving money is pretty neat. I know that this is the most i've had in my account in a LONG time. Lets hope it stays that way lol.

Well that is all that has been on my mind, sorry for the mindless rants haha
Hope you have a blessed day :)

I think i might paint soon hmmmm if only i was good at drawing :P

*Sigh*

It has almost been a month since I have been back from Greece and what have I done:

-Read 2 books
-Got engaged
-Bought my dress
-Planned a wedding
-Worked out and lost MAYBE 2 lbs this week :/
-Traveled to Alabama and back to spend the holidays with family
-Worked one day as a receptionist
-And sit and sleep

Something is missing in this mix.... hmmm what could it be?.... maybe the time to process all that I went through during my time in Greece.... Maybe spend more time talking to God and reading the bible(I've done it some).... Maybe paint to take my mind off things. Right after I got back I had to go go go, and now its hard for me to take a breather and think about all I left behind.

Don't get me wrong I love planning a wedding now, and I like working out, and feeling healthy, and spending time with family and loved ones, but its hard. And no one will understand. People might say I use it as an excuse but it is hard to forget about 3 months out of your life that you took care of people. Broke down, got dirty, and worked hard for a purpose. What is my purpose now? I can only say I am sorry i am just trying to process things so much. People think that I should be ok by now, that I have had enough time to process. NO I HAVEN'T I don't even know where to begin. Or what to say. When people ask me how was my trip... its hard because I don't know if they want to know about the down and dirty details or just want a bogus answer. I guess I feel like I am getting pulled in all different directions and i don't know what to do. I guess i just go on with the routine of things. Working out, watching what I eat, talking to a few people, quiet time, working on some wedding stuff, and sleep. No drive to do anything. OH and I am sick great awesome! I miss Greece. Today would of been a day that I could have helped Carolyn out in the childrens room. I would of gotten to color with one of the kids, loved on them and tell them how proud i was and Jesus was of them. Or I could of served tea with a smile on my face, or taught an English class. This is the first time I have actually sat down and thought about all this. Sorry for the random spill but this is my thoughts for the day. Hope you have a blessed one