Well Hello Past

Out of no where I starting listening to Daphne Loves Derby again. I have been listening to their station on Pandora and you know what that has done? It has made me think about highschool.

ALL of a sudden floods of memories wonderful memories swormed through my mind. No one but me and my past knows the things I captured in my little mind of mine. It kinda reminds me of "Elizabeth Town" when the girl takes a fake snapshot of the moment she is in like she is going to make a scrap book or something. It seems like I've done that through the years, and for some reason Music has always played a part in the memories that are reocurring.

I look at the past, and see who I was.... and look at myself now and all I can say is WOW. So much change, adventure, craziness has happened since then. I look back at a girl that was just trying to figure herself out, taken by the friendships, loving life.... And look at a woman that is building friendships, going in all directions, and growing up. But its always fun to look at the past. Daphne loves derby was one of my first bands that I actually loved. First concert to go to without riding with my parents, out of town, and with friends. NOW race the sun was the first concert I ever went to but that was only in abilene. Daphne Loves Derby was a new leaf for me. It was like I had my first step in independence. I loved it. The friendships that I began to develope, the adventures I took from then on out would change my world forever.

Yes I miss highschool.... I said it... I miss the simplicity of a highschoolers life.... I miss the friends I once had... I miss the music.... BUT I love where I am at.

The past will not take you anywhere but hold you back. Look at the present live your life to your fullest, and push for the future. Soon I will be having children and they will get to experience the life I had. All I can say is I am excited for what is to come and what the Lord has in store for this season of my life. Yes I miss things, but I love this life I have now. We always search for someone or something to suffice for our happiness... And I don't have to. I have my other half. :) I have the Lord. And I am happy.

I hope you all have a blessed day. Enjoy the sun/ or the rain/ and experience life. Because 5 years will blow by before you know it and you will be thinking about the past and reminiscing. SOOOOO tahtahfornow! :)

Halt

HALT WHO GOES THERE?!

Anytime I think about the word halt, I think about a policeman stopping you, or a guard in the medieval times when you are comingup to the gate to talk to a king, OR EVEN red light green light. You know the game.

All in all its a stopping point, sometimes you can't control it, it just happens.

Over the past couple months since I've been married I have been looking for jobs. NOW have I really been looking for jobs?

Well I put it into high gear since July. Now I know thats not a long time to be looking for jobs. BUT for me it has.

And in the midst of applying and applying and applying and applying I have still yet have found a job. I have applied soooooooooo many places and it just seems I am TO qualifed or do not have enough experience.

DISCOURAGING MUCH? but after talking to a friend and some people at church they put it into perspective. Maybe God doesn't want me to work and get paid maybe He wants me to do volunteer work. Or maybe I am suppose to be a wife. I never got to spend time with matt before we got married, maybe God is giving me an opportunity to get to know Matt better? Who knows

ALL I KNOW is that my life is at a halt at the moment. And though many people might like sitting idle relaxing, watching tv, working out. I DO NOT. well I do but i like people. I like hearing from people. Seeing people. Listening to people. I NEED PEOPLE. lol so until I get to see people I am just going to see where God takes me. Apply for more jobs, get turned down or not even hear back, and keep pressing forward. In the mean time I will do what a wife is to do even though my husband will not be here, and get invovled with church and organizations that need my help :)

To make Gods kindom a little brighter, a little more funny, a little more random.... that is what I am here to do :)

Adventure I am waiting ;)

ok that is all yall have a great day! (ps. people make fun of me for saying yall but I get more joy in hearing people from the north begin to say yall even more!) hehehe

Divorce....

Divorce is such a scary scary thing....

It's never easy on either parties, on children, on anyone that is involved...

It effects you mentally, physically, emotionally, and even spiritually if you even do believe in God or not.

Someone once told me that when you get a divorce, and you break that sacred bond of marriage... you don't leave each other as one person you leave as a half of a person. Because the moment you said "I DO" you immediately became one... and you can never bring that back.

These days it is so easy to throw away a marriage... its just like buying a new car, you can do it in an instance. Which is sad to me. When did our society become sooo numb that no one cares for their marriages anymore... I mean even couples that have been together for 20 - 50 years HOW can you live a whole lifetime together and think the best solution is a divorce. Some may say " Oh I never loved you, or I don't love you anymore, or You don't satisfy me anymore." That's a load of CRAP. It's because you are lazy and you don't want to try to make it work.

You loved that person you had to or you wouldn't have said I DO. I DO is not a temporary statement. MY thoughts are Man or Woman up and be the husband or wife you are suppose to be... stop nagging each other... and look at what you fell in love with in the first place.... seriously

NOW if your spouse is abusing you... he could and most likely will abuse your children... you need to get out of the environment and have him seek help or the issue will progress

If your spouse has been unfaithful and is continuing in that FIRST kill the other THING *ok don't actually kill them* And then win them back. THERE is a reason that happened, and they need to know that you will be with them if you really do want the marriage to work you have to let it go. NOW will you forget it no... are we called to forgive yes.... will it be hard? most definitely.... can it be fixed yes. I have learned when the opportunity arrises you can't do it alone you need the strength of God to get you through that. I know that for a fact. But it can work out.

Lately i have been hearing about couples being in a funk one is dealing with a VERY heated situation, one is just dealing with blahness, one is dealing with confusion, and I am afraid that if I place myself in a place where I am surrounded by that... that funk might weasel its way in to my marriage(kinda did for a second) BUT i swatted it away.. STUPID FUNK leave everyone alone. It's suppose to be summer time not lets screw up everyones life time.

I am afraid for my friend... I am afraid of what is to come of the situation... I can't imagine what is going through their mind right now... all I can do is pray so pray I shall. If you do pray please pray for my friend they really need it right now especially for today and this weekend...


on a different note ... the army is lame and needs to STOP taking my husband away for weeks at a time... k thanks! lol

Sorry for such a blah post but I needed to get this off my chest at how PISSED OFF I AM at certain people for being so flippin retarded ! well you guys have a blessed day!

Can I Just Vent For A Second?

....


First of all I am missing my mobilian friends, as well as, my friends from texas alot...


Secondly I have realized that its true people change once you leave college, and it is harder to stay in contact with people once you leave a place... what I don't get is if you have a face book or any social networking device why won't you use it to keep in touch with people you care about... or maybe thats the point... the reason why you dont keep in touch is because in all actuality you don't care. At all to be exact.

Since I have been married I have been able to think back the past year even the past couple months, and ask myself where did all my friends run off too? It's not I who has jumped off the face of the earth its them. and though I have tried to connect it doesn't matter.

Maybe I am selfish... or maybe I am hurt and disappointed. When i see weddings and pictures of weddings that I wish I could be at I look and see friends that I invited thinking they would be there, and nothing... not even a sorry I couldn't have been there or even a congrats.

I took money and time and effort to invite you ... have some decency seriously... how hard is it to say I WON'T be there so I can i wouldn't have had hopes of seeing you guys. For those who came I appreciated it more than you will ever know... it means the world to me that you came. For those who told me before and after that you couldn't go thank you I appreciate the fact that you told me. It means the world to me that you would show that you care. But for those who didn't respond and gave me your addresses ... I know where you stand. so thanks.


sorry enough of that, just was hurt thats all :/ hope yall have a good night

As of RIGHT now

People have been asking me what married life is like lately OH BTW i am married for anyone that was wondering if that would ever happen or not... WELL it did :) and lets just say its been an adventure since then. Since I said "I do" this is what Ive done.

I have been CLEAN yep thats right I have been clean crazy huh? I guess I have a new appreciation to a clean humble abode. It gives a sense of self respect having a clean home.

I have been cooking more. YES and it has turned out to be really yummy. I have enjoyed cooking... kinda gives me a sense of relaxation.... though I am not confident yet but I have enjoyed it ... matt likes it too

I have taken care of financial things... and I have been a Hoss at it :) no one wants to mess with me

I have shot a gun! which was soooo much fun! and scary! I like the cowboy rifle ... I think i may get one sometime soon :)

I have made this apartment a home... now now I need more things but i love my apartment... its very quaint and cozy.

I have found a nice church to go to.. I like mars hill alot Mark driscoll is the pastor and he is very good at what he does.

I have made plans to mark things off my bucketlist!! Hot air balloon... skydiving... yep thats what I am going too and I CANT WAIT.

All in all married life has been fun... and sometimes lonely mainly cause matt goes to work all day and I am at home most of the time... Yeah yeah you will probably tell me to get a job... OK LET ME GET RIGHT ON THAT :P I have been looking for a job... now I may not have been trying EXTREMELY hard but I have put effort towards it. I know I can't be picky but I still want to enjoy what i do.

If I could work anywhere I would work at a record label. I wouldnt mind starting at the bottom... stuffing envelopes or something... just to be in a place that focuses on what I love the most would be such a neat experience. But what do I have to offer? I don't know .

I have realized I need to get better at selling myself... sheesh i have been in such a funk that I have lost a bit of self confidence... no one likes a blah person .... people want to see life, enthusiasm, creativeness, and a new way of thinking. this funk i have been in needs to seriously go away... its like my scribbles have turned into straight lines and are about to burst at the seams.... WELL that is all i can think about right now....

I have also realized I NEED PEOPLE... this apartment stuff is getting old.... you can only get so excited cleaning and cooking for so long until it gets old..... unfortunately I know maybe 3 people here.... one has a baby, the other one has a new baby and a 2 year old girl and one lives about 45 mins away... ughhhhh so far.... I MISS THE COLLEGE ASPECT OF PEOPLE. its dull and kinda zaps me of energy.... but that will all change soon enough :) hopefully :( anyways that is all for today you guys have a good one :)

You Know....

I don't update this alot. I know I know that saddens you right? I know at times I can fill your void of randomness. Well here is the random thought of the day.

Jesus Is My Friend.

I have a friend name Jesus.


Yes Kiddos that is right Jesus is my friend by sonseed has tainted my thoughts since last night. As I was saying goodnight last night the last thought that came to mind was that stupid stupid song lol now I know you might not know this song so I will grace you with it's presence




Now we will see if this sucker works... now if it doesn't your goal is to type it into youtube and you yourself will experience the wonderful style, lyrics, and funk Sonseed has to offer.

You know what speaking of awful Christian music. for the past couple years I have asked myself why does alot of it suck? now don't get angry at me I am just saying what you are afraid to say. The fact that secular music can surpass the talent, lyrical ability, and strength of the music that is out there these days saddens me. I think sense we HAVE the ability to go deep, we HAVE the ability to stretch over the horizon, and we HAVE the ability to get a bigger audience should spark Christians into saying HEY we can do that, we can do better than that. But instead we are stuck in the same chord progressions, lack of depth lyrics, and are afraid to stretch. Now there is the exception of a few artist that I have come across over the past 2 years that I believe changed my thoughts on the dislike for Christian music. But as a whole we are stuck which saddens me. Now I know that i don't have the ability to write deep songs, or experiment with my music but that is just cause i don't practice lol also I have been in a writers block for more than a year. BUT like I was saying this is my thoughts on the matter. Go above and beyond musicians, I'll back you if you have depth, if not you are just another statistic in the same ol routine. Also I know you have to appeal to the audience, and alot of the audience doesn't have the mind capacity to handle deeper music, but they will deal and they can learn A NEW SONG. For those of us who love music love finding the new sound, and have such a broad spectrum for music... we want more. Challenge us some please. I am tired of standing in luke warm gross water, I want to be pushed over by a raging wave. COME HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT. lol sorry i was listening to oldies today :) Yesterday was a Nickel Creek kind of day, I think today will consist of Kansas, and Crosby Stills& Nash, and maybe some Yes... YES I OWN YES :) ok that is all have a good day!

Ouch :(

This is what i am feeling right now! Right where it says pain. Maybe I have pushed myself too hard with all this working out that my back is saying NO MORE. OR MAYBE its because of the stupid class I did last night. DING DING DING there we go that is it! Cardio fusion.... the workout class from Hell (excuse my language). It consists of weights, a stupid step, and a band, sometimes even a barbell(which we used last night). It is a fast pace workout that wants you to BURN THOSE CALORIES fast. Mind over body as the lady said last night. I personally don't think she knows what she is doing. MAINLY because she never stretches us before we begin to work out. Its a mixture of squats, pushups, jumping, lunges, arm workouts, and running all at once. What made me pull something in my back last night was when we used the barbell with weights and did squats on the step. not only did we do that we did jumping squat with the barbell on the step. switching from routine to routine. Now why did i do this class? Let me tell you I didnt want to do it but because I already paid $5 to get in to the workout center, I wasn't going to waste my money on nothing. What I orginally was PLANNING on doing was piyo, which is pilates and yoga combined. But because my instructor was sick and I paid before I realized it I decided to workout. Now I got a good workout dont get me wrong. I worked out for 45 mins, but now I probably did more damage than good. What is hurting? is my lower back when I stand and i sit. What am I doing to help it? well I took ibeprofen and i have a heating pad on it and i am at stupid work lol. How long might it take to get better? I don't know I read between a couple days to a couple weeks :( lets hope for days. What would I like to be doing right now? sleeping sleeping sleeping or tanning lol. What will I hate? If I can't work out for the next couple weeks. I hear yoga is good for the back, so that is a plus. AND ANYONE THAT SAYS yoga isn't a workout is wrong. Did you know you can loose 400-500 calories in one 30 min session. Not only does it build lean muscles but it also burns calories, gives you better posture, and allows you to fully stretch your body to its full potential. Its relaxing, has resistance, and makes you feel refreshed doing it. OK ok OK enough about me whinning about my back, what is going on in my life is wedding, workingout, tanning and working. That is what my days consist of I also go to church on sundays and a bible study at 6:15am on thursdays(which is AMAZING). I officially have 1 month and 11 days til I am Mrs. Callie Ann Woodley :) i am so excited, and ready for it to get here. It sucks waiting but its good. we are getting things finalized and I am excited. well anyways I better get back to work yall have a good one. and I will be in pain :(